My friends, I miss you, please wait for me

Please wait for me as I raise my children. Please wait for me as I put 80% of my life including my friendships on hiatus so I can focus on these little humans who depend on me so much right now for their survival.

Know that I miss you. I miss our times together. I miss our out of town trips, our movie dates, our endless conversations and adventures together.  I miss our long walks, and endless daydreaming about the future. I smile when I remember the things we used to do and say. Those beautiful memories with you help get me through my tough parenting days.

How I wish I can be the usual shoulder to cry on when you need it, how I wish I can be there physically to comfort you when you’re down. I don’t know how many milestone’s I’ve missed or how many heart aches you didn’t bother telling me about because you knew I was crazy busy with my children.

But please know,  eventhough I’m neck deep in parenting responsibilities and have a million things on my plate,  I have never stopped caring about you. I have never stoped looking back fondly at our wonderful friendship. I have never stopped wanting and wishing the best for you. And I will try my best to still be there for you in whichever way I can.

They say everlasting friends don’t care if you lose contact even for years, because they know that friendship is forever, that life happens, that people get busy, but that friendship never dies. And the next time everlasting friends meet they pick up where they left off.

I hope to be like that. I hope for us to be like that when my children have grown and I’ll have more time to be the friend I once was.

The type of friend you can drag anywhere when you’re bored on weekends, the type of friend who’ll listen to your heartache and frustrations for hours on end. The type of friend you can talk into bungee jumping and paragliding with you. The type of friend who’ll drop everything and be there with you in a heartbeat when times get tough.

In time when my kids have grown and they don’t need me as much I’ll be that friend again.

I hope, you won’t stop, I hope you won’t get tired of sending me endless invites. Even when I keep turning them down because my eldest is sick, I have a PTA meeting to go to, or my youngest is covered in hives.

I hope you won’t stop wanting to see me. I hope you won’t stop trying to reach out, trying to find a way to meet up with me even when at times I flake. I hope you won’t stop checking on me, asking about my children or my life eventhough what I do now is so boring compared to our adventures before.

I hope you won’t stop sharing your stories with me on chat eventhough I get distracted every 5 minutes. I hope you won’t stop calling and trying to converse eventhough you can barely hear me with the kids’ noise in the background and I talk like a kid with tourettes, randomly screaming “Get off the table” in the middle of my sentences.

Someday I will be the same old friend, often available, with many time in her hands to listen, talk, and laugh. When my kids have grown and don’t need me as much I’ll be that friend again.

 

 

 

Author: Loraine Balita-Centeno

I'm a Manila based journalist who's been working in the industry for 12 years. I've written pieces for newspapers and magazines based in Manila and some abroad. I'm a work-at-home-mom of two so I spend my days writing or editing with a toddler clamped around one leg and a pre-schooler asking me questions every 10 minutes.

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