Today I fell asleep on the floor

It’s one of those days… When you feel like you’ve crammed so many things and tried to accomplish so many in one day.

It’s just Wednesday, we are barely in the middle of the week and yet I’m tapped out.

In between driving my son to school, my daughter to ballet class, cleaning the house and folding little clothes I barely have time for a power nap. My toddler would probably force my eyes open if she catches me snooze anyway so I don’t even bother trying.

Today I drove my son to his swim class, and watched him while standing under the heat of the sun.

I didn’t want to take my eyes off him because another kid in the pool has been playing rough. So I was watching them standing by the pool all through out.

I could feel my legs almost giving up. I was so tired and drained. But I had to keep my eyes open.

It must have been the piles of clothes I had to sort, fold, and organize this morning. It must have been the early morning rush when I helped him prepare for school.

I must have used up much of my energy feeding and chasing after my toddler. Or maybe it’s because I had to clean the play room for a record number before leaving the house today.

On our way home I was trying to recall if there’s something I missed. Do they have homework today? Are they supposed to bring something tomorrow?

Are we out of bread and eggs? Should I stop by the grocery?

I have a deadline on Monday. And my daughter has a culminating activity tomorrow. I haven’t washed her ballet shoes.

I had a million and one little things going on in my head. I was juggling thoughts like a circus juggler.

When I got home I cleaned the kids and prepared a snack for them. Then, I read them a book and sat on the carpet beside the bed. I didn’t want to get the bed dirty with my clothes that I used outside. As I slowly slid down on the floor while watching Tv with the kids I was knocked out. It was like someone turned my switch off and I passed out. Within seconds I was in lala land snoring. Right there, sprawled out on the floor like a carpet.

I woke up to my toddler trying to shove a piece of biscuit inside my mouth. She must’ve figured I haven’t eaten in awhile.

I don’t remember ever feeling this tired when I was single and working full time.

I thought I was tired all the time but having kids brings a whole new meaning to the word tired. Mothers are tired and sometimes people don’t understand why. It’s like we are tasked with so many invisible things that people don’t notice.

But just thinking about your meal plan, planning your kid’s summer, remembering every little thing your kid needs like those googly eyes for their homework or the black slippers they need for a performance. All that thinking and planning and remembering and organizing is tiring. Add that to the cleaning and feeding and driving everywhere and you have a mother who has a new definition of tired.

Now that I’m a mom tired now means passing out and snoring to lala land right there on the darn floor.

Author: Loraine Balita-Centeno

I'm a Manila based journalist who's been working in the industry for 12 years. I've written pieces for newspapers and magazines based in Manila and some abroad. I'm a work-at-home-mom of two so I spend my days writing or editing with a toddler clamped around one leg and a pre-schooler asking me questions every 10 minutes.

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